My Faith Through TTC after Miscarriage

When Hope and Grief Collide

In May of 2022, I had the privilege of celebrating briefly the title of mom.  I found out I was pregnant,  slightly before mother’s day and was able to celebrate both the American day and the Mexican mother’s day. But my excitement was short lived as I was preparing for my kindergarten class graduation performance, I realized I was bleeding. My heart sank and I pushed through because going home would only have made it worse and I needed to keep my mind busy. I had already scheduled the first prenatal appt, stubbornly I declined the doctor’s receptionist offer to cancel the appt; I wanted answers. The doctor only stated that I would have assumed my period was heavy and late if I hadn't been actively trying to conceive. According to him, miscarriages among first-time pregnant women were common.

The silent struggle of waiting

I was angry with God, being a mom was something I yearned for, and I had finally seen the two lines only for it to be short lived. I was sad and slightly depressed, but I still made it to church thanks to my husband. I found joy in the little things, like my best friend picking me up and going on a food date or going to the park and roller skating while my husband played tennis. All around me others were getting pregnant, and I just felt it was so unfair.

I kept asking God; when would it be my turn?

Faith in the not yet

My best friend made me realize I was falling into depression. I was a teacher on summer break, and I needed to keep my mind busy. I kept my faith anchored (grounded) through journaling and my creativity. As a writer and having done many devotionals growing up Christian, I decided to create my own prayer journal to not only keep me busy but to dive deeper into my relationship with God. I believe it took me all summer to finish and self-publish on Amazon but it helped me keep my mind occupied while simultaneously building my relationship with God.

I started the 30-day prayer journal with the following verse:

•Thessalonians 5:17 “Pray without ceasing”

I chose this verse as a reminder to myself to keep praying and growing in my faith even if I am still waiting to become a mommy.

During my extra free time, I bought myself roller skates and used the time while roller skating to play worship music and praise God because despite not continuing to stay pregnant, I still felt a bit of joy knowing that my body held a little baby even though it was for a short period.

A Note from my Heart to Yours—

For those struggling through miscarriages here’s a few verses of encouragement:

Romans 12:12 “Rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer” (KJV)

This verse reminds you to remain consistent in your prayer life and (anchors) grounds you in patience and hope. When the days feel long and the future uncertain, lean into hope and joy—not because everything is perfect but because Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Patience does not mean ignoring your situation but putting your trust in God and the unseen. And prayer? That’s you communicating your needs to the Lord.. Keep showing up—He sees you, He has not forsaken you.

For those in the TTC journey:

Isaiah 40:31 “But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and no faint” (KJV)

This verse (anchors) grounds you in patience, reminding you that waiting is not wasted when it’s done with God. If you’re feeling worn out in this season—remember: He promises to renew your strength. You’re not walking alone. You’re being lifted and carried even when you don’t feel it. Waiting is not a no but a not yet, its a preparation period for what’s to come.

For those who feel they aren’t worthy to even ask:

Hebrews 4:16 “Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.”

This verse is a reminder that we are anchored in his trust, which serves as an assurance that yo do not need to be perfect to approach God. You can show up broken, confused, even angry like I was, He still welcomes you. His throne isn’t one of judgement but of grace.